Stories
Psychology Explains Why Compliments Make Some People Uncomfortable
- •Research suggests people seek feedback confirming their self-view, even if negative, making praise feel unconvincing if it doesn't match their internal self-image.
- •Self-esteem and existing self-knowledge influence how individuals respond to positive social feedback, leading some to struggle with accepting compliments.
- •Reasons for discomfort include compliments not matching self-image, automatically seeking evidence against praise, being more comfortable with criticism, or perceiving compliments as exaggerated politeness.
- •Some individuals are uncomfortable with positive attention, finding praise exposing or intimate, while others learned to minimize themselves, dismissing compliments as a social habit.
- •Practicing acceptance, even a simple "Thank you," can help individuals, especially those with lower self-esteem, respond more positively to compliments by considering their meaning and significance.
Key Questions Answered
According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people often seek feedback that confirms how they already see themselves. When praise does not match their internal self-image or existing self-knowledge, it can feel strangely unconvincing.
Research suggests that people with lower self-esteem can have difficulty incorporating positive feedback into their self-view. They may automatically look for evidence against the compliment, show preferences for familiar criticism, or find that praise feels inconsistent with their negative self-views.
Research on people with lower self-esteem found that they could respond more positively to compliments when they were encouraged to think about the meaning and significance behind them. Often, simply saying thank you is enough to allow someone else's view of you to exist alongside your own.
